My Superpower Is Kind of Cute

Chapter 16: Turns Out He’s a Big Shot

The man paused for a moment before responding sheepishly, “My name is Xu Weijie.” “Oh.” I didn’t really care much about such a generic name—I’d just asked out of routine, since it felt awkward to keep referring to him as “that guy.” Seeing that I hadn’t said anything, Xu Weijie continued, “But it’s not my fault. That day, I was planning to go confess my feelings to Xiao Jie, but since I was a bit of a coward, I had a few drinks to work up the courage.” “Who’s Xiao Jie?” Just as I was about to ask that, Qi Yun inside me immediately responded in my mind. “Xiao Jie is the girl I’m studying plate tectonics with—the one who lives downstairs from Zhou Jianguo.” It suddenly clicked—so that girl’s name was Xiao Jie. No wonder Qi Yun remembered her so clearly; if I were the one peeking into her apartment every day, I’d probably be able to recite her birth chart by heart. “But what does that have to do with Zhou Jianguo getting bitten?” I asked, puzzled. Xu Weijie looked utterly distraught. “He was cursing at me—and he was really going overboard. I was pretty drunk at the time and thought there was another man in Xiao Jie’s life. I just couldn’t hold back, so I let my ‘foot-washing maid’ loose.” “Then why didn’t he make a sound after she bit him?” “It’s a long story,” Xu Weijie said, his expression falling. “My foot-washing maid has a special ability: whenever she bites someone, she clones that person’s appearance for a while… When I saw her turn into Zhou Jianguo, I sobered up instantly… Then I went home.” “That’s it?” Both Qi Yun and I seemed a bit underwhelmed by this explanation. We’d originally thought there must be some deep-seated blood feud between the two that would let him ramble on for ages, but it turned out to be nothing more than a bloodbath sparked by two steamed buns. Xu Weijie looked at my expression, trying to gauge my thoughts, and asked cautiously, “What did you expect? Do I look like a bad guy?” “A little,” I replied honestly. “But if you look at it that way, Zhou Jianguo was a bit unlucky, too. You were the one who started the trouble. It’s only natural for him to yell at you a bit, but then you went and framed him… The world’s really going to the dogs…” I just let out a couple of casual sighs. After all, he wasn’t related to me in any way, and I certainly couldn’t go all out against Xu Weijie over such a trivial matter. “I did compensate him,” Xu Weijie explained immediately upon hearing my words. “The very next day, I transferred 70,000 to his account as an apology… After all, this kind of thing is hard to explain face-to-face.” “Really?” I looked utterly shocked. That old fox Zhou Jianguo actually didn’t tell me about this strange incident—he really is deep-rooted. I’ll never do him any favors again… I eyed Xu Weijie. “That doesn’t add up. You don’t look like some coal baron or local tycoon—where’d you get the money?” “Bro, you’re not being fair,” Xu Weijie seemed a bit put off by my remark and pointed to his watch, “See that? It’s Armani.” I shot him a disdainful glance. “That’s called ‘Axi,’ right?” But when I took a closer look, it really was an Armani—and it looked genuine. “And this belt around my waist—it’s Hermès. Take a look at my underwear, too…” Xu Weijie said, and just as he spoke, he started to pull down his pants to show off his wealth. I was taken aback and reached out to stop him. “No, no, no—I believe you, okay?” Only then did Xu Weijie let go, fasten his belt again, and say to me, “Actually, I’m a Taoist priest.” “Well, then I’m a wizard.” I said dismissively, but upon further reflection, it actually made some sense. Xu Weijie had a gourd on him, and inside that gourd was a ghost. He could release the ghost in advance into the homes of those “suckers” he planned to target, and then, with just a flick of his gourd, he’d sit back and count money until his hands cramped up. Damn, that’s a massive profit—making money at zero cost. Xu Weijie wasn’t nearly as sensitive about the class issue. Seeing that I meant no harm, he cautiously stood up, brushed the dust off his clothes, and tentatively asked, “May I ask your honorable name, sir?” “My humble surname is Chen.” Upon hearing this, Xu Weijie immediately flattered him, “So you’re Mr. Chen—I’ve long heard of you.” “‘Long admired my ass’—this is clearly the first time I’ve ever heard of you.” I looked serious as I corrected his sycophantic nonsense. “Yes, yes, yes.” Xu Weijie immediately started nodding like a chick pecking at grain, not daring to breathe a word. “All right, that’s it. Let’s go.” I’d asked everything I needed to, and there didn’t seem to be anything else to discuss. Besides, it was so late. I yawned and waved my hand to signal the end of the discussion—it was time for everyone to go home to their own families. “Is that it?” Xu Weijie looked slightly surprised, then let out a deep sigh of relief. I gave him a meaningful look. “Mm-hmm. From now on, remember to respect your elders and care for the young—and stop doing such despicable things.” Xu Weijie bowed to me. “Yes, I’ll take your advice to heart.” “Ahem.” I hadn’t expected him to be so polite; it felt a bit awkward, so I turned to leave. “May I ask where you work, sir?” Seeing that I was really about to leave, Xu Weijie called out from behind me. “Huh?” I turned my head and looked at him in confusion, not understanding what he meant—I’m just the owner of a lottery shop; what the hell am I supposed to be “working at”? Seeing that I hadn’t responded, Xu Weijie asked again, “Big Shot, you’re a psionic too, right? You must be in a guild, right?” I was baffled and silently grumbled to myself, “There’s a guild for this? Is this the kind of thing where you form a party to run dungeons?” Of course, I wouldn’t let that show. After all, I was just a fake psychic, and I didn’t want to get involved in any of this. But I also didn’t want Xu Weijie to look down on me, so I gave him a mysterious glance and said in a low voice, “Take a guess…” Xu Weijie looked a bit bewildered and bowed to me once more as I walked away. I happened to catch that gesture out of the corner of my eye, and it struck me as odd… I spun around abruptly, pointed at him, and yelled, “Are you fucking going to do three bows and then give the family a thank-you gift too?” No wonder he looked so familiar—turns out he was treating me like a dead person and paying his respects. After settling the matter with Xu Weijie, I returned home physically and mentally exhausted, collapsed onto the bed, and fell into a deep sleep. I didn’t wake up until noon the next day. It felt as though the bed had become much narrower and longer, but when I came to my senses and looked around, I realized, oh—it was just that I’d gotten fatter and shorter. “When do you think I’ll go back to normal?” Having gone through this before, I wasn’t in such a hurry this time. I lazily got out of bed and asked Qi Yun, who was in the living room. “Hard to say,” Qi Yun replied, staring intently at me. “I used less spiritual energy this time than last, so it should happen faster than before.” “Oh.” I nodded. Seeing him still looking at me like that, I suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable and shifted my butt back a little. “Even if I stay like this, I’m not going to date guys.” Qi Yun spoke softly, “Mengmeng, what I’m trying to say is, there seems to be a strange energy emanating from you.” “A strange energy?” I scratched my head, not sure what he was talking about. Qi Yun continued, “I had this feeling the first time, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. Then yesterday, the second time, I still felt it. It’s as if your body is absorbing my spiritual energy and constantly drawing it from me…” I rolled my eyes and cut Qi Yun off. “So you’re saying I’m sexually insatiable?”