My Superpower Is Kind of Cute

Chapter 10: Affable

Hearing Zhao Leichuan’s words, my face instantly darkened. Just thinking about it made me angry—it was all because of him that I’d ended up looking like Wu Dalang. I never expected him to turn out to be such an ungrateful bastard, talking back to me like that. If I’d known he was this capable, I should’ve just taken Qi Yun, patted Xia Chun on the butt, and walked away earlier. “Huh? Why are you wearing Chen Meng’s clothes?” It was Xia Chun speaking. She was standing right behind Zhao Leichuan, eyeing me with a puzzled look. It was rare for her to be so observant—she actually remembered the style of the outfit I’d been wearing when I first arrived, and could still recognize it even though the clothes were now all stretched out of shape. Hearing Xia Chun say that, Zhao Leichuan rubbed his eyes, gave me a few careful glances, and let out a burp. “Mengmeng, did someone chop off your fucking legs or something? We’ve only been apart for a few minutes, and you’ve shrunk this much already?” Xia Chun tugged gently at Zhao Leichuan’s shirt from the side and whispered, “He’s not Chen Meng. Chen Meng couldn’t possibly be this short, this ugly, and this fat.” Because Qi Yun was still possessing me, my hearing was exceptionally sharp, and every word Xia Chun said reached my ears without missing a single syllable. My expression became incredibly complex—I honestly didn’t know whether to cry or to cry my eyes out. “Exactly,” Zhao Leichuan chimed in repeatedly, turning his gaze back to me. “Who are you, exactly?” “I’m Chen Meng’s older cousin. Chen Meng got drunk and called me to come pick him up and take him home.” Without a moment’s hesitation, I blurted out a response. Given the situation, even if I knelt before them and claimed to be Chen Meng, they probably wouldn’t believe me. I might as well just make up an excuse and head home. “Mengmeng has a first cousin?” Zhao Leichuan looked slightly surprised and thought about it hazily for a while. “Wait, why hasn’t he ever mentioned this to me? What’s your name?” “Are you conducting a household survey? Why would he have to mention it to you?” I shot him a exasperated look and pointed to the clothes I was wearing. “Just look at our outfits—if we weren’t close relatives, would we be wearing exactly the same clothes?” “I guess you’re right.” Zhao Leichuan seemed to be really drunk; he actually nodded in agreement and said, “It’s just that when you two wear them, the look is exactly like the difference between a ‘seller’s photo’ and a ‘buyer’s photo.’ ” I instantly lost all desire to deal with him. “What about Chen Meng? Why don’t I see him?” Xia Chun looked around but didn’t spot my originally handsome figure, so she asked me, still half-doubting. I waved my hand and said, “I was pretty drunk too, so I called a cab to take him home first. Didn’t you see that car when you came out just now? Otherwise, you can call him yourselves tomorrow and ask.” That made perfect sense—I couldn’t help but admire my own quick thinking. “So what’s your name?” Xia Chun seemed a bit single-minded, harping on these trivial topics and asking the same questions over and over. “My… my name is Chen Ming,” I said after a second’s hesitation. If I’d had more time, I would’ve preferred to come up with a cooler name. Zhao Leichuan burst out laughing as soon as he heard it. “Chen Ming? What a corny name. Which ‘Ming’ is it?” “The ‘Ming’ in ‘sun and moon,’” I replied impatiently. Not wanting to stick around any longer, I turned and walked away. “So that’s just one character different from Chen Meng…” Zhao Leichuan slapped his forehead and shouted at me, “I get it! You and Mengmeng—one’s a pain in the ass and the other isn’t.” I stumbled slightly, turned around, and shot Zhao Leichuan a resentful glance, then left, my back a picture of melancholy and sorrow. I hailed a cab at the entrance to Zhao Leichuan’s apartment complex and was soon back at my own doghouse. The first thing I did upon returning was, of course, look in the mirror and carefully ponder how to restore my once-handsome face and well-proportioned figure. Qi Yun had already left my body while I was in the taxi. I didn’t feel much different, and Qi Yun himself couldn’t point out anything unusual either. Everything seemed fine—except, of course, for the fact that my figure and appearance had gone all out of whack… “Damn it, why haven’t I changed back yet?” I stood on my tiptoes, staring at the mirror in the bathroom. My face was still as round as a pancake. I practically roared at Qi Yun, “Didn’t you say I’d go back to normal once you left my body?” “I said ‘maybe’…” Qi Yun began to explain sheepishly. From the moment he left my body, he’d dropped his carefree grin; clearly, he, too, realized the gravity of the situation. “Stop bullshitting me. Just tell me what we’re supposed to do now?” I stood in front of the mirror fiddling with my reflection for quite a while. The more I looked, the more depressed I got. Finally, I steeled myself, didn’t even bother brushing my teeth, and went straight back to the bedroom, where I flopped onto the bed, feeling utterly hopeless. “Maybe your body just hasn’t adjusted yet. Get some sleep and see—it might go back to normal tomorrow,” Qi Yun said cautiously. “Drink some hot water?” “Like I’d fall for your nonsense,” I glared at him and waved my hand, signaling him to get out of my room. “Um, if it really doesn’t go back to normal, does that mean I can hook up with you all the time?” Qi Yun hovered at the doorway, his tone earnest as he sought my opinion. In his view, even a short guy was still a person—and having a body was better than having none at all. I turned away and retorted petulantly, “If that really happens, I’d rather die. Even as a ghost, I won’t let you off the hook.” Seeing my attitude, Qi Yun immediately shut up. After a moment, he tentatively asked in a soft voice, “Plastic surgery is pretty advanced these days, right? With a little work, couldn’t I still look just like Daniel Wu?” “Have you ever seen a 1. 5-meter-tall Daniel Wu?” I turned back around and fixed Qi Yun with a piercing stare. Feeling a bit guilty, Qi Yun said, “Well, size doesn’t matter…” “If you keep spouting this nonsense, I’ll let you taste my ‘essence’ first.” Seeing that I was actually about to take off my pants, Qi Yun quickly clasped his hands together and said, “I’ll be going now.” With that, he immediately ran back to the living room and, using every ounce of his spiritual energy, created a gust of wind to slam my bedroom door shut. I lay awake all night, my mind full of worries, sleeping fitfully. I had no idea what time it was when my phone suddenly rang at a deafening volume. Still half-asleep, I reached for it and held it to my ear. “Hello?” “Mengmeng, wake up—the sun’s shining right on your butt.” The moment I heard that voice, I knew it was that jerk Zhao Leichuan, finally sobering up. “How dare you call me?” I retorted irritably. “What’s the matter? Can you really blame me for getting drunk after just one drink?” Zhao Leichuan had clearly misunderstood me. “Your tolerance is getting worse and worse. You should come to my parties more often. It was your older cousin who drove you home yesterday—come to think of it, do you actually have an older cousin?” “That’s not important.” I rubbed my eyes. “Have you offended anyone lately?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted asking—it was a pointless question. Knowing him, he probably offends people every single day, and he’d never admit it anyway. Sure enough, just as I’d expected, Zhao Leichuan showed no remorse. “How could someone as affable, kind, and friendly as me possibly offend anyone? You’ve got to be kidding me.” “Fuck you, go eat shit.” I pursed my lips and started listing off: “Back in middle school, who was it who tried to impress a girl by putting on a front and taking her to a fancy restaurant, only to find out he didn’t have the money and tried to steal from his own mother—and worst of all, got caught and almost had his legs broken?” “That was an internal family matter—it’s none of your business,” Zhao Leichuan couldn’t help but defend himself, though his tone was already brimming with guilt. “Fine. Then in high school, who was it who got others to pick a fight for a girl’s sake, only to end up with a broken hand and still had the nerve to beg that girl to cover some of the medical bills? Hmm? ‘Kind and affable’?” There was an endless silence on the other end of the line. After a long while, Zhao Leichuan spoke up timidly, “Bro, I was wrong. You don’t have to remember things like that so clearly, do you? You’re the ‘kind and gentle’ one—your whole family is ‘kind and gentle.’ ”