The Great Tang's King of Provisions

Chapter 38: Chili Peppers Hanging in the Tai Chi Hall

“Greetings, Third Imperial Uncle!” Those two high-pitched, childlike voices didn’t belong to Li Chengqian or Li Tai—they came from two charming little girls: the five-year-old Princess Changle, Li Lizhi, and Princess Yuzhang, Li Lishu. “Haha! What adorable little nieces! Uncle will give you a kiss!” Seeing these two little nieces, who looked just like porcelain dolls, Li Xuanba was so delighted he could hardly see straight. He reached out with his large hand, scooped up the two little girls, and, paying no heed to court etiquette, planted a kiss on each of them—one for each. The two little princesses blushed and looked curiously at their Third Imperial Uncle, whom they were meeting for the very first time. The two little princesses looked at Li Xuanba, and Li Xuanba looked back at them. Both little princesses were dressed in magnificent gowns; their chubby baby faces were framed by big, round eyes, and paired with their sweet features, they looked utterly adorable. In Li Xuanba’s memory, these two young nieces were among the few princesses of the Tang Dynasty who were not arrogant or overbearing; they could truly be described as virtuous and well-behaved—a fact evident from their current docility, maturity, and bashful expressions. After exchanging courtesies, this family—the most noble in the Tang Dynasty—did not sit separately behind small tables as they had in the past, but instead gathered in a circle to eat together from the food laid out on a single, joined table. This lack of formality stemmed from Li Xuanba’s utterly carefree demeanor. “Spicy! Refreshing!” Upon tasting the chili peppers in the roujiamo, Li Yuan and Li Shimin both exclaimed in delight, then—just like Li Xuanba—devoured the roujiamo like ravenous gluttons, polishing one in just two bites. As for the chili peppers, the women—Changsun Wugu, Mei Hanxue, and Du Xingxuan—as well as the children, Li Chengqian and Li Tai, found them a bit too spicy. Fortunately, Li Xuanba had noticed this and had set the chili peppers aside separately, so they could eat them according to their own tolerance—or even skip them altogether. That night, after a hearty meal, Mei Hanxue and Du Xingxuan accompanied Changsun Wugu to learn court etiquette, while Li Yuan stayed behind to drink and chat with Li Shimin and Li Xuanba. That evening, although Li Xuanba and the other two did not share the same bed, they did sleep under the same roof—marking the first time since Li Shimin and Li Xuanba had grown up that a father and son had spent the night together under the same roof. Early the next morning, before dawn had even broken, Li Xuanba got up early, sighing to himself as he rose. There was so little entertainment in the Tang Dynasty that he had actually been forced into a routine of early to bed and early to rise, shattering his dream of sleeping until the sun was high in the sky! Taking the water and towel handed to him by Chunlan and Qiuju—who had become his personal maids—Li Xuanba washed his face. Then, frowning, he used the willow-bristle toothbrush to brush his teeth with a pile of pure white salt. “Woo-woo-woo! Pfft!” As Chunlan and Qiuju stared in astonishment, Li Xuanba spat the mouthwash directly at the entrance to the Tai Chi Hall, then began to grumble to himself. “Damn it! No toothbrush, no toothpaste—brushing my teeth is such a hassle. Plus, my mouth tastes like salty water; it’s totally ruining my appetite for breakfast.” Thinking of the toothbrushes from his own time, Li Xuanba rubbed his nose. Once his second older brother had completed his coronation, he would go get some pig bristles and make some simple toothbrushes for himself and his family. As for toothpaste? We still have mint in the Great Tang, don’t we! After chuckling to himself, Li Xuanba had Chunlan fetch some hemp rope. He took the fully ripened red chili peppers from his spatial pocket, tied them to the rope, and—paying no heed to the twitching corners of the maids’ mouths—began hanging strings of red chili peppers outside the Taiyi Hall, intending to dry them to make chili powder and chili oil. Just as Li Xuanba was happily hanging the red chili peppers, a voice rang out from behind him—a tone of exasperation tinged with suppressed laughter. “Say, Da De! This Tai Chi Hall is a grand hall of the imperial palace, not some peasant’s courtyard. Isn’t it a bit too much of a breach of etiquette for you to be drying your chili peppers right here in my Tai Chi Hall?” “Da De, you’re something else—hanging chili peppers outside Father’s palace. Second Brother, I’m truly impressed!” Hearing the sounds of Li Yuan and Li Shimin getting up behind him, Li Xuanba said without turning his head, “Dad, these chili peppers are extremely rare. If you don’t want me to hang them on your Taiji Hall, don’t come asking me for any of that delicious chili oil I’ll make later.” “Ahem… well, Da De, take your time hanging them. If you run out of space, you can still hang them on the east, west, and north sides.” Hearing Li Xuanba coin yet another new term, Li Yuan instinctively swallowed hard. Thinking of the delicious taste of those green chili peppers, he broke into a broad smile at Li Xuanba—looking not at all like an aging emperor about to abdicate, but more like a greedy old man. “Right, right! Hang them up well—hang plenty of them. I’ll help you!” As he spoke, Li Shimin rolled up his sleeves and, grinning, began helping Li Xuanba thread the chili peppers. After all, the Taiyi Hall wasn’t his home anyway; helping his third younger brother hang the chili peppers might even earn him a taste of the good food—it couldn’t be better. Seeing his second son display such a childlike smile in his presence for the first time, Li Yuan felt pleased in his heart, but his expression grew stern. He teased with a laugh, “Shimin, today is the day of your coronation. Why aren’t you putting on your imperial regalia? What are you doing here helping out? Go, go, go—go wash up and get dressed. I’ll help Da De hang these chili peppers.” Reminded by Li Yuan, Li Shimin slapped his forehead and nodded in realization. “Oh, I almost forgot. Father, I’ll go now. Don’t forget to bring my third younger brother over later—I still need to confer a new princely title on him.” “Got it, got it! We’ll all go together later,” Li Yuan waved without turning his head, then immediately set to work helping Li Xuanba thread the chili peppers he was holding! Listening to the conversation between Li Yuan and Li Shimin, Li Xuanba kept his hands moving, but his eyes rolled back in exasperation. His father was the emperor, and his second older brother was the Crown Prince. When his father abdicated, if even one of them failed to show up, would the abdication ceremony even be able to proceed? After muttering his inner complaints, Li Xuanba teamed up with Li Yuan to hang string after string of bright red chili peppers outside the Taiji Hall, transforming it into a rustic farmhouse courtyard. “Clang! Just as Li Yuan and Li Xuanba, father and son, were busily sun-drying the red chili peppers like farmers, they suddenly heard the clang of armor. Glancing to the side, they saw the heavily bearded Cheng Yaojin running toward them in a panic! “This subordinate, Cheng Yaojin, pays his respects to Your Majesty and His Royal Highness the Prince of Wei.” Upon reaching them, Cheng Yaojin quickly bowed and said anxiously, “Your Majesty, in half an hour, the Crown Prince’s coronation ceremony will begin. You…” Seeing Li Yuan dressed like a farmer, Cheng Yaojin simply couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence. If His Majesty didn’t want to abdicate in favor of the Crown Prince, the announcement had already been made. But if he did intend to abdicate, why on earth was he standing there like a farmer, drying those bright red things? Cheng Yaojin’s confusion didn’t last long, however. Upon hearing his words, Li Yuan slapped his forehead and immediately answered his question. “Oh my! I was so busy sun-drying these chili peppers with Da De that I completely lost track of time. Quick, quick, Da De, come with your old man to change into our ceremonial robes!” “Oh!” Li Xuanba replied, hopped down from the stool Chunlan had brought over, and followed Li Yuan inside to change into his princely ceremonial robes. Hearing the responses from this extraordinary father-son duo, Cheng Yaojin stood frozen in place. No wonder His Royal Highness the Crown Prince had told him not to be too surprised when he came over—judging by the appearance of His Majesty and His Royal Highness the Prince of Wei, anyone who saw them would be left speechless! With the help of the maids, Li Yuan and Li Xuanba donned their respective ceremonial robes and hurried as best they could to the front of the Xiande Hall, where Li Shimin was to be crowned.