The Post-Apocalyptic Big Farm Owner

Chapter 30: A Sad Joke

By the time Li Ba snatched the bottle from Zhou Yan’s hand, she had already drunk more than half of the pesticide inside. Pesticides are highly toxic chemicals, and in the post-apocalyptic world, where order has collapsed and medical conditions are dire, drinking that much pesticide was practically a death sentence for Zhou Yan. “You’re out of your mind… Spit it out, dammit! Spit it out now!” Li Ba grabbed Zhou Yan, pressed his knees against her chest, slapped her back with his left hand, and thrust his right index and middle fingers straight down her throat to induce vomiting. Only this way could he mitigate the damage the highly toxic pesticide was causing to Zhou Yan. People even said this method of his was quite effective. After a few “wa-wa” sounds, a mixture of alcohol and the acrid-smelling pesticide gushed out. Zhou Yan gasped for breath in great gulps. She lifted her head, saw the look of deep concern on Li Ba’s face, and smiled faintly: “It’s no use. I also mixed three packets of ** into the pesticide… Fatso, I’m sorry. I’ve even mortgaged your Villa. What I owe you, I’ll have to pay back in the next life…” Before she could finish her sentence, she clutched her lower abdomen with both hands, her face contorting in agony. Clearly, the poison had taken effect. The pesticide alone wasn’t enough; she’d added three packets of **. This made it clear that Zhou Yan was determined to die. “You haven’t paid back the grain coupons you owe me, and now you think you can just die to get out of it? It’s not that easy… Don’t even think about dying without my permission!” Li Ba roared. He began inducing vomiting in Zhou Yan again. But Zhou Yan clamped her mouth shut tightly, her expression twisted in agony, as blood began to seep from her nose and ears. The mixture of these two highly toxic chemicals—poison upon poison—had now taken effect, leaving absolutely no chance of survival. Take her to the hospital! Medical facilities in the city were too poor; even if she were taken there, she couldn’t be saved. Moreover, given Zhou Yan’s current condition, she would likely die from the poison on the way. Li Ba was so frantic he kept clutching his head. Suddenly, an idea struck him; he flipped his left hand, and a bottle of Spatial Spirit Spring appeared. The Spatial Spirit Spring possessed miraculous healing properties; perhaps it could also counteract the poison. Li Ba pried open Zhou Yan’s mouth and immediately poured an entire bottle of Spirit Spring down her throat. Zhou Yan, who had been desperate to die, saw the agonized expression on Li Ba’s face. She let out a soft sigh, closed her eyes, and submitted to his care. He poured seven or eight bottles of Spirit Spring down her throat in quick succession until Zhou Yan could drink no more and the liquid began to bubble up from her throat. Only then did Li Ba stop. “Yan Yan, do you feel any better?” he asked cautiously. At that moment, the look of agony had vanished from Zhou Yan’s face. After drinking the Spirit Spring, the knife-like pain in her lower abdomen had actually begun to subside, until finally, she felt not a trace of discomfort. “Could the medicine have been fake?” Of course, she didn’t believe that simply having Li Ba force her to drink a few bottles of water could neutralize the poison. The problem must lie in… the pesticides and the ** were both fake. Zhou Yan’s face was pale as she gave a bitter smile: “Fatso, you could save me once, but you can’t save me a second or third time… Never mind, just leave me alone, okay?” Her heart was as dead as ashes; though she had escaped a terrible ordeal, she still felt no will to live. Li Ba silently pulled her into his arms. After a long while, he said softly, “I have a joke. If you still want to die after hearing it, I won’t stop you.” “Go ahead,” Zhou Yan said, leaning against his broad shoulder, a hint of curiosity flitting across her face. “A long time ago, there was a baby boy. He was born prematurely, weighing only two jin and seven liang—about the size of a large mouse. His parents thought he wouldn’t survive, so they threw him straight into a trash can. A kind-hearted person rescued him and took him to the hospital… His life was saved, and after he turned one month old, the child was sent to an orphanage.” Li Ba spoke slowly in a subdued tone, “He grew up in the orphanage. Perhaps because he was born prematurely, he was thin and frail from a young age. His peers mocked and bullied him… Every time he was beaten, he could only hide quietly in a corner and cry, and before he knew it, he developed a reclusive and timid personality. As he grew older, he gradually came to understand the world. The boy vowed to leave the orphanage and never let anyone bully him again. He began studying tirelessly day and night—only by doing so could he leave this place, which held such painful memories, and build a bright future for himself.” At this point, Li Ba paused, as if recalling some painful memory he’d rather forget; his chubby face twitched uncontrollably. “What happened next?” Zhou Yan, completely engrossed in the story, blurted out. “Later, he finally succeeded. He was admitted to Huaxia Agricultural University with outstanding grades. By then, he had grown into a strapping young man—tall, handsome, and academically brilliant. He became the university’s most popular heartthrob, adored by many girls… And he met the girl he loved most in his life. When she agreed to be his girlfriend, he felt as if the whole world had brightened, and he shouted with joy.” Zhou Yan listened quietly, gazing at Li Ba’s round face, which faintly hinted at his good looks. She knew Li Ba was telling his own story. “What happened next?” she asked softly. She knew the story was far from over. “Later, on a date… in the park, late at night, he and his girlfriend ran into a group of thugs.” A flash of pain crossed Li Ba’s face. “Those thugs saw how pretty his girlfriend was and got the wrong idea. A few of them grabbed his girlfriend and started dragging her into the woods… He tried to stop them, but before he knew it, one of the thugs pulled out a dagger and waved it around right in front of him. All those long-forgotten nightmares came flooding back at once; it was as if he’d been transported back to his childhood, being punched and kicked by a group of burly boys…” “In that moment, he actually wet himself out of fear. He watched helplessly as his girlfriend was dragged into the woods, not even daring to cry out for help!” At this point, Li Ba turned to Zhou Yan and asked, “Tell me, isn’t this kid ridiculous? Isn’t he despicable?” He burst into laughter—a wild, unrestrained laugh—though tears were already glistening at the corners of his eyes. Zhou Yan was silent for a moment, then asked, “What happened next?” “The girl was lucky—not because of her boyfriend, but because a passerby spotted her and came to her rescue in time.” Li Ba spoke with a smile, though tears were already streaming down his face. “When the girl saw her boyfriend again, her face was filled with disappointment, anger, and heartbreak… She walked up to him, slapped him across the face, and screamed, ‘You coward! You wimp! I’ll never look at you again for the rest of my life!’ ” “The look in her eyes as she walked away—the boy will never forget it, never…” Li Ba seemed to have lost all his strength as he leaned back on the sofa, muttering, “After that, the girl left, and her whole family moved up north… The boy was consumed by guilt. He was sad, distressed, and desperate, hating himself for lacking the courage to lend a helping hand when the person he loved most was suffering… After graduation, he entered the workforce and began to spiral downward, indulging in excessive eating and drinking. He wanted to eat himself into becoming the strongest person in the world—only then could he mask the timidity and cowardice deep within his heart.” At this point, the story came to an end. Li Ba turned his head and said with a smile to Zhou Yan, “Does becoming fat really bring self-respect and courage? Yan Yan, don’t you think this little boy is ridiculous?” As he spoke, tears streamed down his face. “The little boy is a good person. He wants to save his girlfriend, but he just can’t get past that mental barrier.” Zhou Yan reached out and gently wiped the tears from Li Ba’s face, her movements incredibly tender. “Fatso, you’re a good person too… I believe that the fearless have nothing to fear. Someday, you’ll overcome that mental barrier and become a man who stands tall and proud!” At that moment, Li Ba could no longer hold back. He buried his face in Zhou Yan’s embrace and, like a child, wept so sorrowfully that he was utterly pitiable. Zhou Yan comforted him and offered words of encouragement, doing everything in her power to bring a glimmer of solace to this big boy who appeared strong on the outside but was incredibly fragile on the inside. Soft music continued to play, its melody as soothing as a lover’s gentle touch, smoothing away all sorrow. The two heartbroken souls comforted one another, pouring out their hearts and soothing each other’s wounds. Unbeknownst to them, their hearts drew closer. The next morning. When Zhou Yan opened her eyes, still half-asleep, she found herself lying on the sofa, having slept there all night. Recalling the previous night, she looked around but could no longer see Li Ba. On the coffee table lay a note. She picked it up and saw a line written in large characters: “Starting today, you’re my woman. No matter how big the problem, I’ll take care of it!” Every word and phrase was brimming with confidence and dominance. A sweet smile played on Zhou Yan’s lips. “You fatso, I hope this time you can truly stand up, act like a man, and hold up the sky…”