Apocalyptic Crazy Kitty

Chapter 22: Black Fertilizer Turns Gray and Evaporates

The skeleton zombie was incredibly fast. No sooner had Zuo Chen felt a tight tug on his tail than the entire cat was already flying through the air! It was so fast that all he could see was a blur; in the blink of an eye, the skeleton zombie had charged into the wall, stomping a dent with a single kick, and then—to his astonishment—began running along the wall with its body parallel to the ground. Behind it, a plump Orange Cat was being dragged through the air by its tail like a cat kite, flailing wildly. The moment Zuo Chen’s tail wrapped around the skeleton zombie’s ankle, his biological instincts kicked in, making him realize he was in danger. He knew he had to shake off that strange appendage, so he relied on his speed to run for his life. To the shock of its muddled consciousness, that seemingly tiny yellow creature clung to its heels like a maggot on a bone—no matter how much it sped up, it couldn’t shake off the cat’s presence! The skeleton zombie whirled around and immediately saw the Orange Cat still clinging to his heels in midair, forcing him to accelerate once more. “Boom!” The skeleton zombie rounded a corner. “Meow!” Mid-air, Zuo Chen had turned into a cat-shaped punching bag; with every turn the skeleton zombie made, he was slammed violently against the wall, its bony claws carving deep gouges into the surface. Due to the high speed, the entire cat was spinning continuously in midair—its tail was practically twisted into a rubber band. It was far more thrilling than even the wildest roller coaster! Fighting back the nausea, Zuo Chen closed his eyes and began to retract his tail. But the spinning was simply too fast, so he could only retract his tail bit by bit. A few seconds later, Zuo Chen’s tail finally retracted to its normal length, looking just like a big ball of yarn tied to the foot of a skeleton zombie. He suddenly opened his eyes and lunged with both claws at the skeleton zombie’s legs. If he just severed this thing’s legs, let’s see how it runs! The skeleton zombie crashed down onto an examination table, instantly reducing it to a heap of scrap metal, then hooked Zuo Chen with its hands like iron hooks and yanked him right in front of it. Its gaping maw opened wide, revealing three rows of shark-like fangs on both the upper and lower jaws, as it lunged toward the Orange Cat. Overwhelmed by the foul, fishy stench wafting from the skeleton zombie’s mouth, Zuo Chen could no longer hold it in—he opened his mouth and vomited with a loud “Wah!” Shreds of minced eggplant and rice residue spewed out wildly, splattering the skeleton zombie’s face—much of it landing directly in its mouth. That spin just a moment ago had made him so dizzy; now he felt as if the world were spinning, and he was utterly sick to his stomach! The skeleton zombie didn’t expect this little yellow creature to spew out so much, and he froze in surprise. Taking advantage of the zombie’s momentary distraction, Zuo Chen suddenly kicked his hind paw against the zombie’s chin, breaking free from those iron claws and landing a short distance away. “Beep—Detected a consumer eating food prepared by a host. Pleasure level being assessed. Consumer’s pleasure level is -3. This food has already been assessed and will not be assessed again.” The voice of the Gourmet System actually sounded again, leaving Zuo Chen at a loss for words. A pleasure rating of only -3—clearly, human food didn’t suit a zombie’s taste. Of course, it was only natural that this semi-digested substance wouldn’t be popular… “Ugh…” The skeleton zombie fell silent for a moment, then suddenly bent over and began vomiting violently, spewing a pool of filthy blood mixed with shattered bones. A wave of dizziness swept over Zuo Chen once more. The two looked up at each other simultaneously, then both bowed their heads: “Ugh—” For a moment, a cat and a zombie stood facing each other in a corner of the testing ground, both vomiting—clearly utterly disgusted. Zuo Chen vomited a few times, leaving the floor littered with undigested food scraps. He wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth with a paw and looked over at the skeletal zombie. At that moment, the skeletal zombie looked back at him, and their gazes met. “Meow—” “Howl—” With a joint, frenzied roar, they lunged at each other! The skeletal zombie was incredibly fast. While Zuo Chen was still in midair, it had already grabbed his paws and then bit down on his head, tearing half of his cat’s head right off and into its mouth! A sharp pain shot through him—the skeletal zombie was actually trying to crush Zuo Chen’s skull with its teeth! If it hadn’t been for the soft bony armor beneath his skin, those fangs would have pierced right through his head. This was the difference in size—after all, he was just a cat, while his opponent had the build of a human. “Meow—” The Orange Cat let out a growl, and its tail shot up like a sharp arrow, piercing the skeleton zombie’s throat. It went right through, tearing open its jaw and preventing it from closing its mouth. The skeletal zombie reacted swiftly, yanking Zuo Chen’s head and tail out of its mouth with both hands, then swiping its sharp claws toward Zuo Chen’s eyes. Zuo Chen, suspended in midair, swung his paws repeatedly, blocking the skeletal zombie’s attacks. In the blink of an eye, the cat and the man swung their forelimbs simultaneously, clashing dozens of times! “Squeak—” A piercing scream erupted from the skeleton zombie’s mouth, causing Zuo Chen’s head to throb and making him feel dizzy once more. A mental attack! “Ugh—” Zuo Chen let out a cry as another wave of vomit spurted out, this time spraying directly at the skeletal zombie. The skeleton zombie immediately dodged to the side, only to crash to the ground with a “thud.” At that moment, it suddenly realized that its legs had been tightly coiled by Zuo Chen’s tail—wrapped around them seven or eight times—and there was no way to break free anytime soon. Zuo Chen fought off the dizziness, using all his strength in his hind paws to leap high into the air, reaching a position near the ceiling. Then, propelled by the elasticity and recoil of his tail, he was violently yanked back. With the force of his descent from such a height, he extended his hind paws straight out, like a sharp arrow descending from the sky, and with a “thud,” pierced the skeleton zombie’s nape. then spun his entire body, using the bone blade on his hind paw to sever the skeletal zombie’s cervical vertebrae! With one final, forceful tug, it finally severed the skeleton zombie’s head. The headless corpse continued to writhe and struggle on the ground for a moment before finally falling completely still. As for the skeleton zombie’s head, its eyes were still rolling, and its mouth opened and closed, staring at Zuo Chen as if it were about to bite chunks of flesh right off him. “Meow, meow… I’m so dizzy…” Zuo Chen pressed one paw against the skeleton zombie’s head and covered his own head with the other, then suddenly opened his mouth and vomited: “Ugh…” The skeletal zombie’s mental attack was truly impossible to guard against, and since Zuo Chen had already been knocked dizzy by the throw, this only made him even more disoriented. Moreover, the opponent’s speed far exceeded his expectations. If he hadn’t killed the Chef Zombie and the Armored Zombie to gain the protection of their tough periosteum, that blow would have torn his little cat head right off. He rubbed the back of his head and could clearly feel three neat rows of teeth marks that had pierced through the outer layer of skin. Fortunately, his healing ability was exceptional, and by now the wound had already mostly healed. Plopping down on the ground, Zuo Chen clutched the skeleton zombie’s head tightly in his paws—he’d narrowly escaped death just for this trophy… The bony spike on his tail pierced the skull and began rapidly extracting the remaining essence within. This time, Zuo Chen didn’t block out all of the creature’s memories; instead, he began to quickly piece together its life story. He wanted to know why this skeletal zombie had developed such a unique mental mutation. “My name is Li Qingyi. I was born in a small town in Nanchang, Jiangxi… from a family of scholars… I was admitted to the Department of Philosophy at Yanjing University… and became a professor in the Department of Philosophy at Yancheng University. My publications include…” The skeletal zombie’s entire life’s memories rushed into Zuo Chen’s mind. Only then did he realize that the creature was actually a professor at Yancheng University—a prolific author who enjoyed high standing within the academic community. A philosopher… No wonder he possesses such powerful mental energy—he’s clearly overworked his brain… With that thought, Zuo Chen immediately understood exactly what was going on. It seemed that these philosophical reflections on the world and life also helped strengthen his mental power. After erasing the redundant life memories and retaining only those related to philosophy, Zuo Chen finally completed the absorption of the skeleton zombie’s brain. The dizziness faded, and he suddenly opened his eyes. His pupils had narrowed to slits, and a powerful burst of brainwaves surged forth, allowing him to clearly perceive everything around him. Not through sight, hearing, or smell, but through mental perception! At the same time, he could sense that the structure of his legs seemed to have undergone subtle changes—clearly a result of the skeletal zombie’s speed mutation. After completing all this, the Orange Cat stretched, leaped onto a test bed, and roared loudly: “Meow—” A wave of psychic pressure spread out with the sound, echoing throughout the underground testing facility. Dozens of zombies currently battling the Wasteland Bandits immediately stopped, letting out low growls as they stood there with their heads bowed, motionless. More than thirty of the bandits had already suffered heavy losses; including Erzi, there were only thirteen left—even Xiaohei had turned into a zombie. They had long since run out of ammunition and now wielded only knives, axes, and clubs. Seeing the zombies freeze, the thirteen survivors looked at Zuo Chen in disbelief, then erupted into cheers. “Hurrah!” “Hahaha, we won, we won!” “Long live the Great King!” A few even collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath, unable to get back up for a while. Zuo Chen nodded with satisfaction; he had indeed absorbed the skeletal zombie’s psychic pressure ability. He was surprised that thirteen of the bandits had survived; this group of desperados was indeed formidable. “Very good. Congratulations to everyone on surviving. Get some rest—there’s plenty of food.” Zuo Chen was in high spirits as well; he took out cat food from his storage space, handing out two cans to each person. “L… Lord… you…” Erzi looked stunned, staring intently at Zuo Chen. “What’s wrong?” Zuo Chen asked, taken aback. “Your accent!” Erzi exclaimed excitedly. “My accent… Holy shit, my accent is gone!” Zuo Chen realized it too and burst out laughing. “Hahahahahaha, I’ve finally got my standard Mandarin back! I’ve got a broadcaster’s voice, you know! Eight hundred sentries rush to the northern slope, Artillerymen run side by side to the north, Artillerymen fear bumping into the sentries, Sentry fear bumping into the artillerymen’s guns, Black fertilizer turns gray and evaporates, Gray fertilizer evaporates and turns black…”