Apocalyptic Crazy Kitty

Chapter 7: I’m So Frustrated!

“Smack!” The brick was knocked away, and Zuo Chen pinned the metal fragment firmly under his paw. It was light and thin—he had no idea what kind of metal it was made of—and looked like a fan-shaped metal plate covered with mysterious patterns. But the moment Zuo Chen’s claw touched it, multicolored lights flashed continuously across the metal plate, and an eerie, mechanical voice rang out in his mind. “…Beep beep… Intelligent lifeform detected. Food Collection System activated. Selecting host… Brainwave synchronization complete. Host language identified… Scanning host species. Initiating parasitic form transformation…” The metal plate instantly turned into a pool of liquid, which then flowed backward up Zuo Chen’s paw, “climbing” upward! “Meow!” Zuo Chen was startled and tried desperately to shake it off with his paw, but it was completely useless. In a matter of seconds, the pool of liquid metal had coiled around his neck, then shifted and transformed into a silver collar with a golden bell hanging from it… What on earth is this! Zuo Chen’s fur stood on end instantly. He raised his paw and tugged hard at the collar, trying to rip it off. Even if I’m going to be a cat, I want to be a cool stray! Putting a bell on me just turns me into a pathetic house cat! “Beep… Host’s dissatisfaction with the mimicry form detected. Initiating form conversion…” The mechanical voice rang out in Zuo Chen’s mind once more. The very next second, he watched as the golden bell slowly transformed into a pink bow! Damn it all! Not just a house cat—now I’ve turned into a sissy house cat! I don’t want a bow! A bell would’ve been better! “No bow… Bell… Bell! Bell! In a panic, Zuo Chen yelped wildly while tugging at his collar. “Beep… Host’s command accepted.” A mechanical voice sounded, and the pink bow transformed back into a golden bell. “Phew, Ling-ding is better, meow…” Zuo Chen raised a paw to wipe the sweat from his forehead and said helplessly. Suddenly, his whole body jolted. He covered his mouth with his front paw, his eyes wide, and muttered in disbelief, “I can talk now?” “I can talk!?” In his moment of panic just now, he had unconsciously broken through the language barrier and could actually speak! Of course, this was also thanks to his nonstop practice over the past few days. “Why does it sound a bit like a Hunan accent? Never mind, never mind—it’ll get better with practice! Hahaha, Old Chicken can finally speak!” So what if it has a Hunan accent? He was confident that with diligent practice, he’d soon regain his original, standard broadcast-quality voice! For him, language skills were absolutely crucial in the post-apocalyptic world—they determined how far he could roam. Otherwise, unable to communicate with humans, he’d be stuck living in a post-apocalyptic world overrun by zombies—which would be the absolute worst fate for such a cute Orange Cat. “What exactly is this thing?” Zuo Chen asked. “Beep… System Overview: The Milky Way Gourmet Collection System. It determines the deliciousness level of food based on the eater’s pleasure, collects information, and provides rewards to the host…” The mechanical voice droned on in Zuo Chen’s mind for quite a while, and he finally realized that this thing was actually some kind of gourmet food collection system. It had only one real purpose: to collect information on delicious food. And the chosen host was, in fact, the chosen chef… Damn it all! He slammed his paw on the ground! Collect my ass! This is the apocalypse! Who the hell had nothing better to do than create this piece of crap? Even if I manage to make something… I’m just a poor little kitten—surviving in this terrifying apocalypse is hard enough as it is. As he thought this, he pulled the cork out of a bottle of red wine with his teeth, clutched the bottle with both paws, and gulped down more than half of the sweet wine in one go. A poor little kitten like me can only drown my sorrows in alcohol during the apocalypse—it’s just so pitiful… “Burp…” He let out a burp, took a bite of a chicken drumstick, and, clutching the wine bottle, began to feel drowsy. Damn it, why does this feel so good? It doesn’t fit my character’s backstory at all… “BOOM!” Suddenly, a thunderous roar echoed from the distance. Zuo Chen immediately leaped to his feet, clutching the bottle to his chest as he rushed to the edge of the rooftop and looked toward the west. He saw a cloud of black smoke rising from a residential building about four blocks away, with flames blazing fiercely. “Tap-tap-tap…” The sound of rapid gunfire rang out, followed by the howls of zombies! There were people inside that apartment building! There were still survivors in Yancheng! At the same time, the bell around his neck vibrated gently, and the cold, mechanical voice echoed in his mind once more. “Beep… Exiting hibernation, charging… Energy at 20%, continuing to charge…”