The Shaolin Abbot Born in the 1980s

Chapter 4: I Am the Abbot

Although “Tongzi Gong” was a rather unscrupulous martial art, it still offered great benefits to the practitioner. At the very least, Huo Yuanzhen now possessed inner energy, making him light on his feet and physically fit, and he could run very fast. He soon emerged from the edge of the forest; not far ahead lay a grassy hillside where Lin Rou usually tended her sheep. But at that very moment, Lin Rou was in danger. Two young men dressed in blue robes, with shifty, rat-like eyes, stood in front of her. They seemed to be saying something, and were even reaching out to touch her. Lin Rou screamed and dodged, while the two men laughed loudly. “Stop it!” Although Lin Rou hadn’t been harmed yet, Huo Yuanzhen couldn’t stand by and watch her being bullied, so he let out a roar and charged forward. When he reached them, Lin Rou recognized Yi Jie and a glimmer of delight flashed in her eyes. Yet she shouted, “Little monk, don’t come any closer! These two are village thugs—they’re very strong. You’re no match for them. Hurry up and go to the mountain to call your senior and junior brothers; they know martial arts.” Huo Yuanzhen felt a bit embarrassed. So I’m really that untrustworthy, huh? “Don’t worry. I don’t need anyone else to deal with these two scumbags—I can handle them all by myself.” Lin Rou was taken aback. Why did this little monk Yijie seem a bit different? He never used to swear before. The two men over there, seeing Huo Yuanzhen step forward, sneered coldly, “I was wondering who it was—isn’t this that bald-headed donkey from Shaolin Temple? What? You actually dare to interfere with us having a good time?” “Bald donkey?!” This insulting nickname sent Huo Yuanzhen into a rage. Calling him a “bald donkey” just because he had no hair—it was a damn offensive thing to say. “You two, stand at attention for me… for This Humble Monk.” Looking at the two slovenly village men, Huo Yuanzhen’s anger boiled over. It seemed he was determined to play the hero and rescue the damsel in distress himself today. “Whoa! Bald donkey, doesn’t your Shaolin Temple have all those rules? You’re not supposed to speak disrespectfully. And yet you, you little bald donkey, actually dare to call yourself ‘old man’? Which master taught you that?” Both villagers were taken aback. Something was off about this little monk—could he be an impostor? “Bald—bald, you fucking bald-headed bastard!” Huo Yuanzhen was furious at being called a “bald donkey” over and over again. Without wasting any more words, he leaped forward and kicked one of them. The villager who’d been hurling insults didn’t expect Huo Yuanzhen to actually strike. Caught off guard, he was sent tumbling to the ground by a single kick. Since Huo Yuanzen possessed inner strength, that single kick left the villager sprawled on the ground, unable to get up. “Ouch! That hurts like hell! Old Zhao, aren’t you a martial artist? Beat this bald-headed donkey to death for me! My older brother is an outer-sect disciple of the Zhongyue Sect and has connections with the county magistrate’s office—you’ve got nothing to fear from this bald-headed donkey!” “And you call me ‘bald’!” Huo Yuanzhen stepped forward and delivered another kick, striking the villager squarely in the chest. The blow nearly knocked the wind out of him; he lay on the ground, his eyes rolling back, unable to utter a word. Caught off guard by the sudden turn of events, the other villager finally snapped out of it and bellowed, “Bald-headed monk, take this!” People back then were still quite polite; generally, with the exception of those reactionaries, they would almost always shout a warning before striking. After shouting, this guy clenched his fist and charged at him. Although he didn’t know what martial arts style his opponent practiced, Huo Yuanzhen believed that, relying solely on his current meager inner energy and Iron Head Technique, defeating his opponent would be no easy task. However, Huo Yuanzhen had a plan. As his opponent charged, he simply clasped his hands behind his back and watched as the fist came flying toward him. To the villager, Huo Yuanzhen’s dismissive attitude seemed rather inscrutable. Although his martial arts skills were mediocre, the villager couldn’t believe anyone would stand there motionless and take his punch head-on. Even though he didn’t know Huo Yuanzhen’s true capabilities, he decided to throw the punch anyway. Since he was going to strike, he might as well hit hard—the villager aimed his punch directly at Huo Yuanzhen’s eye socket. The “Iron Head” technique was impressive, but his eyes were still vulnerable. Huo Yuanzhen certainly couldn’t let him hit his eyes, so when he saw the fist coming, he ducked his head slightly. The villager’s fist slammed into Huo Yuanzhen’s bald head! Try punching a rock with all your might—that’s exactly how the villager felt right now. With a pained yelp, the villager felt a sharp crack in his wrist—landing a punch on someone had actually fractured his own wrist! Seizing the moment, Huo Yuanzhen finally got his chance. He stepped forward and delivered another kick that sent his opponent tumbling, then pounced on him, straddling his waist. He began raining down blows with both hands—no matter how the man tried to dodge, Huo Yuanzhen always found a way to strike his weak spot. “I’ll teach you a lesson for being so cocky! For harassing a village girl! You bald-headed donkey! Go ahead, get even balder!” His massive hands flew up and down like a whirlwind. In no time at all, the village man—who knew a little martial arts—was beaten to a pulp, his face swollen like a pig’s head, and he begged for mercy with all his might. “Monk, spare my life! I’ll never do it again.” “What do you mean, ‘monk’? Call me ‘Master’!” “Master, spare my life! I’ll never do it again.” “What ‘Master’? Call me Abbot!” “Abbot, spare my life! I beg you—just treat me like a fart and let me go.” After fighting for a while, Huo Yuanzhen grew tired and sat on top of his opponent to catch his breath. “That guy got away!” Lin Rou shouted from the side. Huo Yuanzhen turned to look and sure enough, the villager he’d kicked to the ground was already limping away a good distance—he had no idea when the guy had managed to escape. “You bald-headed donkey, just you wait. My older brother is from the Zhongyue Sect, and he’ll be home on leave in August. When he gets here, he’ll definitely come and settle the score with you.” With the main target gone, Huo Yuanzhen lost all interest in continuing to beat up this weakling; he kicked him twice and told him to get lost. Once both men had vanished from sight, Lin Rou approached Huo Yuanzhen, her large eyes seeming to brim with tears as she looked at him. “Little monk, why do you have to be so reckless?” “In the name of the Boundless Heavenly… Buddha of Longevity, lady donor, you’ve greatly underestimated this abbot. These minor scrapes are nothing. Back in the day, when I was playing online games and taking part in siege battles, I died over a hundred times without even batting an eye.” Taking this opportunity, Huo Yuanzhen reminisced about his days playing online games. “What do you mean, ‘died over a hundred times’? You’re just full of hot air!” Seeing that Huo Yuanzhen was indeed fine, Lin Rou felt relieved. But then a question suddenly occurred to her: “Little monk, what did you just say you were? The abbot? You can’t just make up titles like that—be careful your master hears you and punishes you.” Huo Yuanzhen slowly backed up a few steps, coming to a stop about a few meters away from Lin Rou. He smoothed out his crumpled monk’s robe and shook his head—only to remember he didn’t actually have any hair, so he couldn’t pull off that cool “shaking my hair” pose from his past life. Still, he tried his best to strike a cool pose and said to Lin Rou, “What do you mean, ‘little monk’? I’m the Abbot of Shaolin now. From now on, when you see me, you must address me as Master Yijie.” “You’re the abbot? Where’s your master?” “My master, may he rest in peace, was called by the Buddha and has already gone to the Pure Land.” “I see. That’s such a shame—Master Xuanming was such a kind person…” As Lin Rou spoke, tears welled up in her big eyes; it seemed she was genuinely saddened. Huo Yuanzhen hurriedly said, “Lady, please don’t be like this. My master has gone to the Pure Land to enjoy bliss, and even though he’s gone, the Shaolin Temple still stands. I’m the abbot now, so if the village ever needs a Buddhist service or anything like that, you can still come to me. You don’t need to be so sad.” “You’re just full of empty talk. Do you even understand Buddhism?” “Of course I do. In fact, I don’t just understand Buddhist teachings—as a qualified abbot, merely understanding them isn’t enough. As a leader, my primary task is to oversee everything comprehensively and place the most suitable people in the most suitable positions. For example, I’ll have the person most proficient in Buddhist teachings perform rituals and lead Shaolin’s morning and evening services; I’ll assign the most eloquent person to the Shaolin Mountain Gate to serve as the reception monk;to welcome and assist visiting pilgrims; have the person most skilled in face-reading and palmistry interpret fortune slips for the pilgrims to earn some offerings; have the best martial artist guard the Damo Hall; have the most courageous person oversee the Arhat Hall; have the hardest-working person watch over the bell tower; and have the most loyal person be in charge of the Scripture Hall…” Seeing that Huo Yuanzhen was about to launch into a never-ending monologue, Lin Rou finally couldn’t help but interrupt him: “Little monk, do you actually have all these things at Shaolin Temple?” Huo Yuanzhen was immediately brought back down to earth, only then realizing that this was merely his own fantasy—not only did they lack these things, but they didn’t even have the people to staff them. “Well… hehe, we’ll have them soon. The reason I’ve come down from the mountain this time is to earn money to cast an iron bell. Maybe in just a few days, you’ll be able to hear the melodious toll of the bell at Shaolin Temple.” “That’s wonderful. I’m really looking forward to that day.” Lin Rou smiled, then suddenly turned her head, rummaged around in her bosom for a moment, and turned back, holding a green apple in her hand. “Here you go, little monk. I picked this while herding sheep. It’s not quite ripe yet, but I picked one early—go ahead and eat it.” Huo Yuanzhen took the green apple, feeling a mix of emotions he couldn’t quite put into words. The young girl actually harbored feelings for him, but he couldn’t say anything in return—because he was just a monk, and he couldn’t make any promises to Lin Rou. “I must return to lay life—I absolutely must!” Huo Yuanzhen made up his mind, took a big bite of the apple—though it was a bit tart, it was a real treat compared to the food on the mountain. Just then, a big black dog came running over. Huo Yuanzhen recognized this big black dog; Lin Rou had kept it for many years. “You damn dog! I didn’t see you during the fight just now, but now you’ve come out. Sooner or later, I’ll turn you into dog meat hot pot!” He shot a glance at the big black dog Lin Rou was leading. The dog, sensing something unsettling in Huo Yuanzhen’s gaze, couldn’t help but cower a little behind Lin Rou. “This dog is quite clever. I… This Humble Monk merely glanced at it, and yet it sensed danger.” “Thank you, lady benefactor. This Humble Monk must take his leave.” Despite his nonsensical remarks, Huo Yuanzhen decided to leave. Although the apple tasted good, that big black dog was undoubtedly even more delicious. He feared he might not be able to control himself and give Lin Rou a hint of his true intentions, so it was best to leave now. Besides, that villager had just said that in August, his older brother would come to take revenge on him, so he still needed to figure out a way to deal with that.