I Think That's Pretty Scientific

Chapter 5: 005: Let’s Talk About Swimming and Fitness

After handing the “Burn the Ships” weight-loss program over to Happy, Tony Stark had basically put everything related to Kraft out of his mind. It had been nothing more than a minor diversion in his unassuming and mundane life as a rich guy—not much different from the magazine cover girls he’d slept with and then forgotten. But after a few weeks, Stark suddenly noticed a surprising change in his bodyguard, Happy. Staring at Happy, whom he hadn’t seen in a few days, Stark asked in a tone of surprise, “You actually managed to lose weight?” As he spoke, Stark patted Happy’s belly, which had shrunk considerably. His surprise was entirely justified. As Stark’s bodyguard, Happy’s job was incredibly laid-back—apart from driving him around and fending off reporters, he had virtually no other duties. Plus, whenever Stark got a sudden burst of inspiration and retreated to his lab, Happy would be granted a vacation of indefinite duration. Back in the day, Happy had been a burly guy with a six-pack—it was this damn sedentary lifestyle that had changed him. Happi had planned to get back into shape, but laziness is one of the original sins—without the pressure of work, he simply couldn’t stick with it for long before giving up. It wasn’t until Stark gave him that weight-loss kit—which led Happy to mistakenly believe Stark was becoming dissatisfied with his work ethic—that he finally resolved to really put himself through his paces. However… “What kind of personal trainer is so amazing that they could actually help you shed that layer of fat? You’ve lost weight so suddenly that I’m actually a little unaccustomed to it.” Listen to that—is that even human speech?! Happy’s lips trembled as he pointed at Stark, too furious to speak, his eyes brimming with accusation. Mr. Tony Stark was completely baffled, having absolutely no idea what his bodyguard was so worked up about. “It’s all because of that damn gift of yours!” After holding it in for so long, Happy finally shouted it out. Once he got started, he ranted nonstop to Stark about just how hard he’d been working lately and how miserable his life had been. And you’ve already forgotten all about it! Happy’s gaze toward Stark grew increasingly angry. “Oh, all right, I apologize, Happy… I didn’t expect that kid’s weird little invention to actually work so well, and you misunderstood what I meant…” Tony Stark held up his palm, softly soothing his bodyguard and friend, though his tone was a bit odd—he was clearly trying not to laugh. “You’re still laughing!” “Sorry, Happy…” Not wanting to provoke Happy any further, Stark quickly covered his mouth, but the amusement in his eyes was impossible to contain. After holding back for a moment, Tony Stark—who was used to letting loose—couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Hahahahaha! Sorry, Happy, that’s just too funny… Hahahahahaha!” After a fit of laughter, Stark finally managed to placate Happy with his trusty and ever-reliable “money power.” However, it was precisely this incident that reignited Stark’s interest in Kraft’s invention. “Jarvis, pull up the channel for that guy who invented the weight-loss treadmill.” After sending Happy on his way, Stark—while the memory was still fresh—ordered JARVIS to pull up Kraft’s “Crafty Hands” channel and began browsing through his past videos. Most of the videos Kraft had uploaded were knockoffs of Shou Gong Geng’s work; they didn’t contain much technical sophistication, but his bizarre and outlandish ideas were quite entertaining, so Stark was mostly just watching them for a laugh. That is, until he stumbled upon Kraft’s videos about the Mo School’s mechanical locks. “Hmm? This puzzle is actually pretty interesting.” With Tony Stark’s intellect, he immediately recognized the ingenious design core of the mechanical lock Kraft demonstrated in the video. He quickly shut it off—he didn’t want the video to spoil the fun; this sort of thing was only truly enjoyable when he took it apart himself. “Jarvis, buy me every type of… mechanical lock—is that the name? —from the ‘Skilled Hands’ channel… Never mind, just get me one of every product they have!” Stark waved his hand with a flourish, unleashing his spending power, and began buying up everything on Kraft’s channel. Then, New York’s major media outlets suddenly noticed that Tony Stark, the darling of the press, had—at some point—begun spending his free time pulling odd-shaped little wooden blocks out of his pocket to fiddle with them; sometimes, he’d even brush off beautiful women who approached him to strike up a conversation. Playboy Tony Stark had changed his ways! This major discovery sent the media in New York—and across the entire United States—into a frenzy. Front-page headlines and TV shows alike began discussing Tony Stark’s recent transformation and offering in-depth analyses of the reasons behind it. Naturally, some investigators traced the origin of those little wooden blocks that had made Stark ignore the beautiful women. It’s Dr. Kraft Lee, the master craftsman, all over again! This discovery only fueled the media frenzy even further, especially after Tony Stark remarked during an interview, “These little wooden blocks are pretty interesting—much more fun than a Rubik’s Cube. That kid Kraft is quite creative. If he manages to graduate from college, the doors of Stark Industries will always be open to him.” This sent the New York media rushing into Chinatown, where they began digging up everything related to Kraft. Fortunately, Martin Lee had already amassed considerable influence by this point and was able to keep things under control. The media only uncovered surface-level details—such as his past as a fugitive from the Magia Gang and his previous abduction for human experimentation—all of which Martin managed to cover up. Very little of this information made it into the reports, sparing Kraft a great deal of unnecessary trouble. But Kraft was still being harassed to the point of exasperation. Now he couldn’t even go to school; he was forced to hole up at home and in his workshop conducting research. No matter how much he enjoyed this work, being forced to do it constantly was bound to become tedious—not to mention the mountain of orders for mechanical locks that Stark had generated… Kraft would have loved to shove all those mechanical locks down Tony Stark’s throat! Just as he was wallowing in his distress, Martin Lee stepped in once again. “Don’t look so glum, Kraft.” Martin Lee sat down beside Kraft with a smile, put his arm around his shoulder, and patted him gently. “Haven’t you always said your experiments were short on funding? Now here’s a great opportunity!” Seeing that Kraft still looked confused, Martin patiently explained. “Your mechanical lock is different from your previous weight-loss kit—it has a much broader appeal among the general public. Plus, Stark, that media darling, has even volunteered to advertise it for you. As long as you scale up sales of the mechanical lock—and I’m not even saying it’ll replace the Rubik’s Cube—at the very least, you won’t have to worry about funding anymore. And in the future, you won’t need to waste your energy manufacturing them yourself; you’ll just need to release a new blueprint every now and then and leave the rest to the factory.” Kraft’s eyes lit up at this, but he quickly slumped and said, “Where am I supposed to get that much money to set up a factory and scale up production…?” “Have you gone crazy from all that tinkering?” Martin teased, playfully smacking Kraft on the head. “I’ll cover the costs, and we can recruit workers from the shelter. All you have to do is handle the design and wait to collect your share.” “Oh! Martin! I love you so much!” Kraft jumped up with joy, threw his arms around Martin’s neck, and shouted. Back when Martin Lee had told Kraft that his business was taking off and he’d already made a lot of money, Kraft hadn’t really grasped what that meant. To him, “making a lot of money” probably just meant that Martin had been able to move them into a relatively upscale neighborhood in Chinatown and still had enough left over to help out the homeless. After all, Martin himself drove nothing more than an ordinary-looking Ford—he didn’t even own a sports car—so how rich could he really be? But when Kraft saw that with just one phone call from Martin, a whole series of matters—including the company, factory, trademark, and sales channels for the combination locks—were swiftly settled in just a few days, he suddenly realized that the “a lot of money” his adoptive father had spoken of was probably truly a vast sum. Is selling those jars and bottles really that profitable? In truth, Kraft wasn’t entirely sure what kind of business Martin was actually running right now; he never paid much attention to such things. All he knew was that Martin had previously sold various jars and bottles, as well as some oddly shaped statues—supposedly antiques. Although he was astonished by Martin’s ability to make money, Kraft’s surprise quickly gave way to joy. At least he didn’t have to worry about Martin being driven into bankruptcy by that shelter, and once the mechanical lock factory was up and running, he’d have enough funds to try out the more high-end inventions he’d seen in his dreams. As for the “Skilled Hands” channel that had caused him so much trouble, Kraft had already decided to give it up. “No, you can’t—!!!” Upon hearing the news, Fat Liao lunged forward, grabbed Kraft’s leg, and began wailing. “We agreed on a win-win partnership—you can’t just abandon me like this! Besides, isn’t this a bit too much for the fans who support you?” Faced with Liao the Fat’s persistent clinging, Kraft felt utterly helpless. But after all, Liao was a partner who’d been with him since the early days of their startup; it clearly wouldn’t be right to just abandon him like that. Besides, Liao’s final point made sense—he couldn’t just give up on the fans who subscribed to his channel because of that annoying Stark guy. “All right, all right. I’ll still shoot some videos of fun inventions and hand them over to you. I won’t get involved in how you handle them.” Kraft kicked his leg impatiently. “Get off me—you’re a ton of weight!” “I knew you were a man of honor, Kraft! You’re practically the reincarnation of Zuo Botao—the second coming of Guan Yu!” Liao the Fatso sprang to his feet with a speed that belied his size; his previously glum, chubby face instantly transformed into a beaming smile. He happily patted Kraft on the back and began to shower him with unrestrained praise. “Get lost!” “Puzzle” literally means a brain teaser or an unsolved mystery. Overseas, this term is generally used as a catch-all for puzzle games and related items. My English is actually pretty terrible; I picked this up from watching videos online. I put together a cover—it’s sort of a teaser, or maybe a spoiler? Of course, Kraft dreamed of more than just these few, but the props associated with some of these characters are particularly important.